Frequently Asked Questions

Frequently asked questions

Below are some frequently asked questions and answers, that may help you during the loss of a loved one:

 

When a Death Occurs

How do I know if the death has occurred?
Look for movement in the chest. Can you feel a pulse? Does a mirror mist over if held to the mouth? Does the person respond to a pain stimulus?

If you are at all unsure then immediately ring 999 for an ambulance.

Does the body need to be moved by a funeral director?

A person’s body may be safely kept at home in cool conditions for a day or two – more in very cold conditions. You may want reassurance or technical advice from a funeral director, but you can close the person’s eyes, put a small towel rolled under the chin, or a scarf around the chin and head for a few hours to keep the mouth closed (teeth in!). Turn off radiators, keep the room shaded, as cool as possible without a fan, windows open at night in the summer. Wrapped frozen camper packs will help cool the body quicker, so the person can stay at home for longer.

Where is the body kept once it has been moved?

The body will be kept in a cold store refrigerated to 2 – 6 degrees to help preserve the body. This is where it will remain until the funeral. You can generally to arrange to visit the person by arrangement with the funeral director.

Registration and Death Certificates

You will need to collect the ‘Medical Certificate of Cause of Death’ that the GP has signed from the doctors’ surgery or hospital bereavement office.

When you have (or know that you will have it), call the registrars’ office in the area where the death occurred and make an appointment to register the death; make sure you take this Certificate with you.

If you are unable to visit the registrar in the area where the death occurred, ask for a registration ‘By Declaration’. This relies on the Royal Mail or courier so allow extra time for this to take place.

The Registrar will issue Death Certificates – one copy for free; you might need another 3-5 copies to send to the bank, solicitors etc. depending on the complexity of the estate They now cost £11 each.

How long do I have to register?
Deaths in England and Wales or Northern Ireland should be registered within 5 days – if this is not possible, you must at least have made the appointment and informed the Registrar.
What if the death is referred to the Coroner?

Deaths are referred to the coroner by the GP or Emergency services if the death is sudden, or the cause of death cannot be readily established by the GP. In 2018 this figure was a startling 41%, with 39% resulting in a post mortem – down slightly from 2017.

This can simply be if the person has not been seen by the Dr within the last 14 days, or that the person may have died from something other than that which the Dr. was treating. Occasionally the family can prevail on the Dr. not to refer to the coroner, or the Dr. can speak to the coroner to try and avoid a post mortem if the cause of death is not really in question. If in doubt, the coroner will always proceed with a pm.

Post Mortem

A post mortem is an intensive examination of the person’s body, and is needed in order to establish the cause of death, when the doctor cannot establish this. If after making all necessary enquiries, and the cause of death is established as ‘Natural Causes’, there is no post mortem; in such a case, and if the funeral is to involve burial, the family need to register the death in the normal way. With a cremation the coroner will inform the Registrar, which then allows the funeral to proceed; however, in this case the family will need to visit the registrar to get Death Certificates.

An Inquest

An inquest is called if circumstances surrounding the death need further investigation – perhaps following concern over nursing or medical care, use of alcohol or drugs while in care, sudden unexplained death, suspected foul play, or possibly to ‘learn the lessons’ for future such cases.

If an inquest is called, it is immediately adjourned to allow for the facts to be gathered, and need not delay the funeral.

How soon can the funeral take place?

It is best to allow 7 to 10 days for a cremation; 5 days does not allow for unforeseen delays, but can be done. In particular circumstances with a burial, the funeral can take place within 24 hours of the death, though the local council tends to panic and say ‘no’; 4-10 days is more usual.

Before the Funeral

What is a chapel of rest?

A room near the cold store that allows families to privately visit and spend time with the person’s body. The person may be in their coffin, unless the visit is soon following the death, when the person will be laid out on a flat surface – which we soften with fabrics and flowers.

Should I visit the person’s body?

You should always visit if you feel that you want to. If in two minds – visit! If the undertaker is very strongly against if for hygienic/stability reasons, press for detail if you need to; even in the case of a terrible and disfiguring accident, you can perceive the outline of their body under a sheet, and this can help.

What will the body look like?

Obviously it depends on the length of time following death; but it is often said that the person ‘looks very peaceful’. We will have washed and dressed the person in clothes you will have provided. Often this visit is recalled as an important part of the process of finding some peace in accepting that a person has actually died, is here in physical form, but is no longer ‘here’.

Can I assist with the dressing?

Yes. We will provide warm water, towels, essential oils, and a quiet space; we can help, advise or let you do it completely on your own.

Am I able to put personal items into the coffin?

Yes. However due to cremation regulations no metal, glass, plastic, or PVC items. For these reasons we recommend leaving off most shoes.

Why Embalming?

Embalming is a temporary preservation technique that replaces the natural bodily fluids with a 16% formaldehyde chemical preservative solution through the vascular system.

It is sometimes extremely useful.

This process is invasive; we only suggest embalming when a body is to be kept for more than 3 or 4 weeks, repatriated or, sometimes, if the coffin is to remain open during the service.

We will only embalm someone for a very good reason, and will always let you know the reason, and ask your permission.

Burial and Cremation

Burial or Cremation?

In the UK almost three quarters of funerals involve cremation.

Cremation is generally cheaper than burial, as it does not involve a headstone.

Cremations are carried out one at a time and the ashes (sometimes called ‘cremated remains’ and are crushed carbonised bone fragments) are carefully and completely collected before the next coffin is introduced into the cremator. You can be certain they are indeed ‘your’ – and only ‘your’ – ashes!

Pro’s and Con’s: your choice; people seem to have a strong aversion to burial or cremation. Ethically, cremation uses more energy; burial uses more land.

Natural or ‘green’ burials do not use embalming fluids, coffins are made of environmentally friendly and biodegradable materials, and there are no imported marble headstones; all of which helps.

Is the coffin cremated with the deceased?

Once the coffin has left the funeral directors the deceased cannot be removed from it. And, yes, the handles stay on too – contrary to a popular myth.

Are they ‘my’ ashes? Crematoria know this is a widespread concern, so the staff and crematorium authorities take great care to ensure that every individual cremation is kept completely separate.

You can always arrange to visit a local crematorium to see exactly what they do.

What about the Ashes?

Ashes remain the strangest part of a cremation – this person’s body transformed into a box of grey dust and grit, and this is what we are given when the final bill is paid.

 It is said that as a newborn we weigh 7lbs; and that we leave as 7 lbs of cremated remains.

An adult’s ashes might fill a 240cc container, depending on their body weight. Babies leave no ashes, as their bones are not developed or hardened.

Any crematorium needs a minimum of 4 hours to complete the process before the ashes can be collected; they will require advance notice if you want the ashes back the same day. Generally the funeral director collects the ‘urn’; though these days it is generally a nice looking cardboard box. You can collect it yourself if arranged before with the Crematorium office; bring photo ID.

Cremated remains can be scattered in the Garden of Remembrance, buried loose or in an urn or casket in a grave at the crematorium, or in a churchyard or cemetery.

Are the ashes toxic?

No – the ashes are inert; they contain dry calcium phosphates with some minor minerals, such as salts of sodium and potassium; a relatively small amount of carbon may remain as carbonate.

If concentrated amounts are placed on the land, they can cause a ‘burning’, a similar effect of putting on too much fertiliser. They need spreading out or digging in. Once spread out they will take on some of the properties of a limestone soil.

Large amounts in sensitive ecosystems may alter the natural ecology – so don’t choose the mountain top!

Ashes Containers: ashes generally come in a perfectly nice coloured cardboard box. What you decide to transfer them into instead of this depends what you are planning to do with the ashes – i.e scatter, vs keeping them on the mantelpiece. The rest is what appeals – and you can choose from a wide variety of urns by clicking on the link.

What can I do with the ashes?

Bury them loose, or in the box or the casket. Scatter them (watch the wind direction!); NB you need the landlord’s permission to scatter ashes; the Coastguard is the landlord of the sea and its shorelines.

Use as a starter block for a coral reef; scatter them in space; put them into a firework/fireworks. Get them made into a glass ornament, a ‘diamond’, a bird bath, a vinyl record – and one I regret not doing from my mother – an egg timer; mix them with tattoo ink, paint with them mixed into pigment, shoot them from a canon mixed with ribbons and confetti.  

The Service

Can I use a local church if I am not religious?

Can I use a local church if I am not religious?

While providing a beautiful and convenient venue, a service in a church is a religious one, and is led by a minister; if a minister other than ‘the incumbent’ is wanted, permission must be granted by the current minister. Sometimes a ‘multi-faith’ minister will be allowed to hold the service – or part of the service – in the church. Some ministers are understanding that your family might prefer a service that is ‘light’ on religion – but prayers and liturgical content will be part of the service.

 

Can I use any church for the funeral?

Permission will be needed from the minister in charge of the church that you are hoping to use if it is not your local church – and there would need to be a good reason, such as family connections.

If not in a church, where can we hold the Service?

While many funerals in the UK still follow traditional religious practices in a local church, increasing numbers of families prefer a less formal – possibly civil – ceremony, usually in the crematorium chapel. But there are village halls, scout huts, hotels, country houses, Mason’s Halls, Quaker Friends’ Meeting rooms that can be hired for a funeral service.

We have held funeral services entirely at the graveside, in the garden, the house, in the woods, the barn, the pub, or the garage of the house. Natural Burial Grounds usually have a shelter or indoor space.

Find out more about funeral options

Who leads the Service?

Minister: in a church, the minister leads the service. It is important to arrange a special meeting with the minister to plan the service and make sure they understand your family, and how you want it to go. Anyone else can speak, offer a reading, a poem, sing or play a musical tribute.

Celebrant: a secular or civil ceremony can be led by a member of the family or an independent ‘celebrant’ – whether strictly ‘Humanist’ or as your spokesperson; they will always want to come to the house to meet you to understand more about your family and the person who has died, and will spend a considerable time creating a unique service that reflects what you have told them. They can write and deliver a ‘Eulogy (a spoken portrait of the person who has died), based on their life and the stories you have told them. They can call to speak with other friends and family members who were not at the initial meeting to get input from a wider circle.

There are plenty of celebrants now practising; some are very good.

Unless you know one personally, we can advise.

Other sources of information about funeral practices

  • Humanist Funerals and Memorials
  • Funeral Information from The Catholic Church
  • Funeral Information from The Church of England
  • Funeral Information from The Methodist Church
  • Funeral Information from The Baptist Church
  • Funeral Information for Sikhs
  • Funeral Information for Buddhists
  • Funeral Information for Muslims
  • Funeral Information for the Jewish Community
How long is the Service?

A service in Gloucester Crematorium allows 20 minutes in the chapel. In addition, they estimate 5 minutes to enter and get everyone seated, and five minutes for all to leave the chapel. If you expect lots of people, or you feel more time is needed, a ‘double’ slot may be booked, which will give 50 minutes in the chapel. Both Cheltenham and Westerleigh allow 35 minutes service time.

Church services are usually no more than 35 -40 minutes – though in exceptional cases they can go for an hour. As above, Ministers are required to include the liturgy of their particular faith in addition to anything else you might want.

Who carries the coffin?

Funeral men in black? Or family members, grandchildren, colleagues, mates; women as well as men, of course. (N.B. It is generally considered an honour to be asked to carry the coffin as a last act of service to the person who has died.)

This decision as to who carries the coffin depends on the tone of the funeral -and the availability of willing and able-bodied family members and friends. If the latter, – less formal – arrangement, we would give a clear briefing before to ensure that the ‘bearers’ are well prepared, and we would be on hand to help all the way.

Funeral Costs

How much will the funeral cost?

A 2018 Sun Life ‘Cost of Dying’ survey showed the UK average funeral to cost £4,271.

A fairly simple funeral through Family Tree in 2019 will cost between £3,350 – £3,650.

There are several factors that influence the cost of a funeral – particularly the choice of coffin, whether you have a newspaper announcement requirements for flowers, limousines, etc.

We will always discuss costs with you, and provide an itemised estimate in advance of the funeral. We ask for the ‘disbursements’ – those costs we pay on your behalf, and about half of the final total – to be paid in advance. A final invoice is sent the week after the funeral – for the balance to be settled within two weeks of the date of this invoice date.

How do I pay for the funeral?

You can pay by ‘Faster Payment’ transfer, cheque, or cash by arrangement.

The banks will freeze a person’s account after their death. Any costs associated with the funeral can be paid from the deceased’s current or savings account on submission of an invoice by the executor/next of kin. This can include expenses that your family have incurred such as travel, accommodation, additional flowers, catering etc. If you tell us what these are we will add them to the final invoice and reimburse you as soon as the bank have settled with us.

Can I get help paying?

If you are having trouble paying for a funeral, it is very important to discuss this with us in advance: we will try and work out some payment plan with you.

In addition: you may be able to get a Funeral Expenses Payment from the Government:

You (or your partner) must be getting one or more of the following:

  • Income Support
  • Income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance
  • Income-related Employment and Support Allowance
  • Pension Credit
  • Housing Benefit
  • the disability or severe disability element of Working Tax Credit
  • Child Tax Credit
  • Universal Credit

You might also be eligible if you’re getting a Support for Mortgage Interest loan.

You can still claim Funeral Expenses Payment if you’ve applied for these benefits and you’re waiting to hear about your claim.

If you were responsible for a deceased child but you’re not their parent, the non-resident parent must get one or more of these benefits.

If there’s a close relative of the deceased who is not getting one of these benefits, you might not be able to claim Funeral Expenses Payment.

To be eligible for a Funeral Expenses Payment, you must be

  • the partner of the deceased when they died
  • a close relative or close friend of the deceased
  • the parent of a baby stillborn after 24 weeks of pregnancy
  • the parent or person responsible for a deceased child who was under 16 (or under 20 and in approved education or training)

You might not get a Funeral Expenses Payment if another close relative of the deceased (such as a sibling or parent) is in work.

 

A Funeral Expenses Payment can help to pay for some of the costs of the following:

  • burial fees for a particular plot
  • cremation fees, including the cost of the doctor’s certificate
  • travel to arrange or go to the funeral
  • the cost of moving the body within the UK, if it’s being moved more than 50 miles
  • death certificates or other documents

You can also get up to £700 for any other funeral expenses, such as funeral director’s fees, flowers or the coffin.

The payment will not usually cover all of the costs of the funeral.

How much you get depends on your circumstances. This includes any other money that’s available to cover the costs, for example from an insurance policy or the deceased person’s estate.

Check the claim form notes for full details of what is covered by the Funeral Expenses Payment.

If the deceased had a pre-paid funeral plan, you can only get up to £120 to help pay for items not covered by their plan.

More detail here can be found here: https://www.gov.uk/funeral-payments

What is A Direct Cremation?

A Direct Cremation is a funeral where the person who died is collected and cared for and cremated with no family or minister present. It is a perfectly respectable choice (David Bowie, Albert Einstein, Amy Winehouse, Alfred Hitchcock, John Lennon et al), and is sometimes known as an ‘Unattended’ funeral. It is cheaper (around £1,500), complete and unfussy. The ashes are scattered afterwards.

Families often have a memorial gathering of some kind at some future date.

Is it worth paying for my funeral in advance?

Funeral costs have increased by almost two thirds over the last ten years. They are projected to rise by almost 20% during the next five (Sun Life ‘Cost of Dying’ 2018);  this despite a drive by the government to reduce this inflationary rate of expansion.

If you have a life expectancy of more than two or three years, if you have the savings, and if you feel you can tackle the job (or get someone else to), it makes sense to plan and pay for your funeral in advance. You can of course put money aside in an investment or savings account, but unless it’s in Amazon shares, it’s unlikely to keep pace with the rise in funeral costs.

For more information, go to the ‘Pre-Paid Funerals page on our website

You decide the kind of funeral you would like. We cost it up at today’s rates. The rates paid hold good until the funeral – whenever it happens, although there may be a small top up if the costs of the ‘disbursements’ increase by more than the Retail Price Index.

A great advantage of Family Tree’s funeral plan supplier (Golden Leaves Funeral Plans) is that they will allow for a completely personal and ‘bespoke’ funeral plan, rather than your needing to buy into the ‘Westminster’, the ‘Salisbury’, the ‘Windsor’ – or even ‘The Highgrove’ type packaged plans on offer by other providers.

We are also very happy to come and talk with you in advance of the need for a funeral, if you do not want to pay in advance.

Preparing for End of Life

How do I best prepare for the inevitable end of my life?
  • Will
  • Advance Directive (Living Will)
  • Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA)
  • Funeral Plan

What to do when someone dies

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We will tell you exactly what to do, and help and guide you through each of the different stages.

Click here for more details.

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