Frequently asked questions

When a person is close to death you may notice something called Cheyne-Stokes breathing. This is an irregular breathing pattern which means there can be at first an increased breathing pattern and then long gaps between breaths. There can be a period of apnea when breating stops altogether, leading you to think the person has died, only for them to take another breath.

If you want to be really certain: Look for movement in the chest. Can you feel a pulse in their wrist or neck? Does a mirror mist over if held to the mouth or nose? Does the person respond to a physical stimulus? These are reliable indicators if you are with someone at the end of their life, perhaps at home.

When someone dies at home, the main thing to know is that there is absolutely no rush to make decisions or take action at this stage.

The time immediately after a person dies (and for up to three days afterwards, depending on your beliefs) is a very special time of transition. When you are ready, you can call Family Tree at any time; we will tell you what you need to do, and help and guide you through each of the different stages.

A person’s body may be safely kept at home in cool conditions for a couple of days – more in colder conditions. You may want reassurance or advice from a funeral director, but you can close the person’s eyes, put a small towel rolled under the chin, or a scarf around the chin and head for a few hours to keep the mouth closed.

Turn off radiators, keep the room shaded (curtains closed) and as cool as possible.  You can use a fan if you wish. About five frozen ice blocks (the type used for a picnic), each wrapped in a tea towel, will help cool the body quicker and keep it cool, so the person can stay at home for longer. Rotate the blocks every few hours as needed.  Lavender oil in a burner helps too. The Natural Death Centre has great advice on how to care for a body at home and we can be there to help you too, e.g. we have ice packs specifically for use in these circumstances.

The body will be kept in a cold store refrigerated to 3–6 degrees to help preserve the body. This is where it will remain until the funeral. You can generally to arrange to visit the person by arrangement with the funeral director.

In September 2024 we moved to a new ‘Medical Examiner’ system. When a person dies the district nurse, GP or hospital doctor will trigger the creation of the ‘Medical Certificate of Cause of Death’ (MCCD).

The MCCD is sent to the Medical Examiner and the main family contact will receive a phone call from the Medical Examiner a couple or few days after the death to check that they are happy with what has been recorded as the cause of death.

After this phone call, the ME will send the MCCD to the Registrar. Give them an hour or so to do this and then you can phone the Registration Service to make an appointment to register.

Gloucestershire Central Booking line: 01452 425 060. You can register in these places:

Stroud: The Old Victorian School, Parliament Street, GL5 1DY.

Cheltenham: Council Offices, St. George’s Rd, GL50 3EW.

Cirencester: Cirencester Library, The Waterloo, GL7 2PZ.

Forest of Dean: The Oaks, Belle Vue Centre, 6 Belle Vue Road, Cinderford, GL14 2AB.

Gloucester: Shire Hall, Westgate St. GL1 2TG.

Quedgeley: Quedgeley Library, Bristol Road, GL2 4PE.

You are encouraged to meet with the Registrar within five days. This is not always possible if they are fully booked, or circumstances mean there has been a delay. Please do not worry; so long as wheels are in motion that is fine. 

Who can register the death?

•    The next of kin, or a close relative of the person who has died
•    A relative in attendance during the last illness
•    A relative living in the district
•    If none of the above are available, a person present at the time of death e.g. The person in charge of the        nursing home, a solicitor, an executor or the person paying the funeral bill

For the appointment you will need:

•    Their medical card, if possible
•    Birth and marriage certificates, if possible
•    The registration number of the person’s ‘government pension’ (if applicable)

The information the registrar will require includes:

•    The date and place of the person’s death
•    The full name of the person who has died and their maiden name (if relevant)
•    The date and place of their birth
•    Their occupation and home address
•    If the person is a married woman, her husband’s age and occupation
•    Information as to whether the person was receiving any state benefits or pensions

At the end of that appointment you will be given a ‘green form’ this is a two-page document which you need to give to the funeral director as it is part of the paperwork supplied to the crematorium or burial ground/cemetery.

If you are unable to visit the registrar in the area where the death occurred, ask for a registration ‘By Declaration’. This relies on the Royal Mail or courier to supply death certificates so allow extra time for this to take place. The Registrar will usually be happy to email the green form to the funeral director so that the paperwork for cremation or burial isn’t delayed.

The Registrar will issue Death Certificates, which cost £12.50 each. You might need 3-5 copies to send to the bank, solicitors etc., depending on the complexity of the estate.

You will also be able to access the Tell Us Once service which allows you to inform central and local government services of the death at one time, rather than having to contact each service individually.

The literature says that deaths in England, Wales and Northern Ireland should be registered within five days. If this is not possible, for example, you haven’t yet received a phone call from the Medical Examiner, or you were out of the country when your loved one died, please do not worry. So long as the ‘wheels are in motion’ it won’t matter if you register a short time after the five days have elapsed.

Deaths are referred to the coroner by the GP or emergency services if the death is sudden, or the cause of death cannot be readily established. In 2024 this figure was 31%, with 46% of those referrals resulting in a post mortem.

This referral can simply be because the person has not been seen by the doctor within the last 28 days, or because the person may have died from something other than that which the doctor was treating. Occasionally the family can prevail on the doctor not to refer to the coroner, or the doctor can speak to the coroner to try and avoid a post mortem if the cause of death is not really in question. If in doubt, the coroner will always proceed with a post mortem.

What is a post mortem?

A post mortem is an intensive examination of the person’s body, and is needed in order to establish the cause of death, when the doctor cannot establish this. If after making all necessary enquiries, and the cause of death is established as Natural Causes, there is no post mortem. In this case, and if the person is to be buried, the family need to register the death in the normal way. In the case of cremation, the coroner will inform the Registrar, which then allows the funeral to proceed; however, in this case, the family will need to visit the registrar to get death certificates.

What is an inquest?

An inquest is called if circumstances surrounding the death need further investigation – perhaps following concern over nursing or medical care, use of alcohol or drugs while in care, sudden unexplained death, suspected foul play, or possibly to ‘learn the lessons’ for future such cases.

If an inquest is called, it is immediately adjourned to allow for the facts to be gathered, and need not delay the funeral.

It is best to allow a minimum of seven to ten days for a cremation, and a minimum of a week for a burial. In particular circumstances – as required by certain religious faiths, burial can take place within 24 hours of death.

Local Crematoria

Gloucester: GL4 4PA.

Cheltenham: GL52 5JT.

Westerleigh: BS37 8QP.

Others

Forest of Dean: GL14 3HU.

Swindon, Kingsdown: SN25 6SG.

Bath, Haycombe: BA2 2RQ.

Wherever the burial is taking place, permission for the body to be buried is granted through the ‘Green Form’ (Certificate for Burial or Cremation) issued by the Registrar following the visit by the family.

A family who have a relationship with the minister will usually contact the minister personally, asking if they will conduct the funeral, and suggest alternative dates and times. Or we can do this for you.

The church warden/verger or Council Officer designates and marks the grave to be prepared. The funeral director confirms and arranges all the details for the preparation, such as the size of the coffin, the required depth of the grave (single or double), and the date and time of the funeral.

The funeral director will also liaise with the officiant to establish and confirm the finer details of the arrangements.

If the family are not religious, Family Tree can recommend an appropriate and experienced celebrant who will work with them to create and conduct the kind of ceremony required.

A chapel of rest, as it’s known, is simply a dedicated space at the funeral directors which allows families to privately visit and spend time with the person’s body. The person may be in their coffin, unless the visit is soon following the death, when the person will be laid out on a flat surface – which we soften with fabrics and flowers.

You should always visit if you feel that you want to. If in two minds – visit! If the funeral director is very strongly against it for hygienic/stability reasons, press for detail. Even in the case of a disfiguring accident, you can perceive the outline of their body under a sheet, and this can help. Visiting your person in their coffin with the lid on is also an option that suits some people who find themselves undecided.

Obviously it depends on the length of time following death; but it is often said that the person ‘looks very peaceful’. We will have washed and dressed the person in clothes you will have provided. Indeed, if wished, this is something you can yourself be involved in.

Often this visit is recalled as an important part of the process of finding some peace in accepting that a person has actually died, is here in physical form, but is no longer ‘here’.

Yes, of course. We will provide warm water, towels, essential oils, and a quiet space. We can help, advise or let the family/friends present do it on their own.

Yes. However, due to cremation regulations, no metal, glass, plastic, or PVC items. For these reasons we recommend leaving off most shoes.

Routinely, no, we do not. We will only embalm someone for a very good reason, and will always let you know the reason, and ask your permission.

Embalming is a temporary preservation technique that replaces the natural bodily fluids with a 16% formaldehyde chemical preservative solution through the vascular system.

The process is invasive but in some cases can be very useful, for example if a body is to be kept refrigerated for more than three or four weeks, or if the coffin is to remain open during the service. In the case of repatriation it is a legal requirement.

The law around organ donation is England changed in Spring 2020 to an “opt-in” system. This means you will automatically be presumed to consent to organ donation unless you have taken the necessary deliberate steps to opt out. Organ donation only takes place if you die in hospital as it needs to be done quickly (exceptions to this are for cornea and skin donation).

This new law does not apply to children under 18; those lacking mental capacity; those here on holiday and who die whilst here; those who have lived here less than 12 months.

If you are considering whole-body donation to science/research, there are protocols you need to follow. It’s not something your family can request after you’ve died as you need to have completed the necessary paperwork yourself. Our nearest place for donation is Bristol University:  http://www.bristol.ac.uk/anatomy/bequests/

Please note, for various reasons the university or teaching hospital may not be able to accept your whole body. Examples include because they already have enough bodies for the current time; because it’s Christmas and practically more challenging; because the person has had a post mortem; because the person died with a severe infection; Alzheimer’s.

For this reason, you should have arrangements for a conventional funeral in place which your family can easily access in the event the body is rejected.

To return the person’s body back to their home country from the UK, or to bring a body home to the UK from abroad, the Coroner’s permission is required, usually at least four days in advance of travel.

There are very specific requirements for the closing of the coffin by Customs and Excise, and special regulations depending on the country to which the person is being sent.

Family Tree can handle all of these arrangements for you, in conjunction with professional repatriation companies.

All bodies must be embalmed before travel.

In the UK almost three-quarters of funerals involve cremation.

Cremation is generally cheaper than burial, as it does not involve a headstone.

Cremations are carried out one at a time and the ashes (sometimes called ‘cremated remains’ or ‘cremains’ and are crushed, carbonised bone fragments) are carefully and completely collected before the next coffin is introduced into the cremator. You can be certain they are indeed ‘your’ – and only ‘your’ – ashes!

Pros and Cons: It is your choice and people seem to have a strong aversion to, or preference for, one over the other. In terms of sustainability, cremation uses more energy; burial uses more land.

Natural or ‘green’ burials do not use embalming fluids, coffins are made of environmentally friendly and biodegradable materials, and there are no imported marble headstones. Nor is the area regularly mown to within an inch of its life; all of which helps.

Once the coffin has left the funeral director the deceased cannot be removed from it. And, yes, the handles stay on too – contrary to a popular myth.

Are they ‘my’ ashes? Crematoria know this is a widespread concern, so the staff and crematorium authorities take great care to ensure that every individual cremation is kept completely separate.

You can always arrange to visit a local crematorium to see exactly what they do ‘behind the scenes’.

Ashes remain the strangest part of a cremation – this person’s body transformed into a box of grey dust and grit, and this is what we are given when the final bill is paid.

Any crematorium needs a minimum of four hours to complete the process before the ashes can be collected; they will require advance notice if you want the ashes back the same day. Generally, the funeral director collects the ‘urn’ and most crematoria now supply them in a nice-looking cardboard box. You can of course collect the ashes yourself, by arrangement.

Cremated remains can be scattered in the Garden of Remembrance, buried loose or in an urn or casket in a grave at the crematorium, or in a churchyard or cemetery. Legally, ashes can only be freely scattered elsewhere with the landowner’s permission.

Though the ashes can be handled, they are heavily alkaline and can damage plants and soil ecosystems if applied in concentration. They contain dry calcium phosphates with some minor minerals, such as salts of sodium and potassium; a relatively small amount of carbon may remain as carbonate.

If concentrated amounts are placed on the land, they can cause a ‘burning’, a similar effect of putting on too much fertiliser. They need spreading out or digging in. Once spread out they will take on some of the properties of a limestone soil.

Large amounts in sensitive ecosystems may alter the natural ecology – so don’t choose the mountain top –  or indeed any protected conservation area. Permission to scatter ashes needs to be sought from any landowner beforehand.

Ashes Containers: ashes generally come from the crematorium in a perfectly nice coloured cardboard box. What you decide to transfer them into instead of this depends what you are planning to do with the ashes – i.e scatter, versus keeping them on the mantelpiece. There is a vast array of urns in all conceivable materials to choose from.

Bury them loose, or in the box or a casket. If you scatter them, check the wind direction first! N.B. you need the landowner’s permission to scatter ashes; the Coastguard is the landlord of the sea and its shorelines.

What else can you do? Use them as a starter block for a coral reef; scatter them in space; put them into a firework/fireworks. Get them made into a glass ornament, a ‘diamond’, jewellery, a bird bath, a vinyl record – or even an an egg timer. Mix them with tattoo ink, paint with them mixed into pigment or shoot them from a canon mixed with ribbons and confetti.

Burying them in your garden needs careful attention (as mentioned in the earlier FAQ). Dilution of the total using organic matter, plenty of water and avoiding young plants and trees is needed. Placing them inside a biodegradable urn can be helpful to support the compostibility for your garden.

While providing a beautiful and convenient venue, a service in a church is a religious one, and is led by a minister. If a minister other than ‘the incumbent’ is wanted, permission must be granted by the current minister. Sometimes a ‘multi-faith’ minister will be allowed to hold the service – or part of the service – in the church. Some ministers are understanding of the fact that your family might prefer a service that is ‘light’ on religion – but prayers and liturgical content will be part of the service.

Permission will be needed from the minister in charge of the church that you are hoping to use if it is not your local church – and there would need to be a good reason, such as family connections.

While many funerals in the UK still follow traditional religious practices in a local church, increasing numbers of families prefer a less formal – possibly civil – ceremony, usually in the crematorium chapel. But there are village halls, scout huts, hotels, country houses, Masons’ Halls and Quaker Friends’ meeting rooms that can be hired for a funeral service.

We have held funeral services entirely at the graveside, in the garden, the house, in the woods, the barn, the pub, or the garage of the house. Natural Burial Grounds usually have a shelter or indoor space.

Find out more about funeral options

Minister: in a church, the minister leads the service. It is important to arrange a special meeting with the minister to plan the service and make sure they understand your family, and how you want it to go. Anyone else can speak, offer a reading, a poem, sing or play a musical tribute.

Celebrant: a secular or civil ceremony can be led by a member of the family or an independent ‘celebrant’ – whether strictly ‘Humanist’ or as your spokesperson. They will always want to come to the house to meet you to understand more about your family and the person who has died, and will spend a considerable time creating a unique service that reflects what you have told them. They can write and deliver a eulogy (a spoken portrait of the person who has died), based on their life and the stories you have told them. They can call to speak with other friends and family members who were not at the initial meeting to get input from a wider circle.

There are plenty of celebrants now practising; some are very good. Unless you know one personally, we can advise.

A service in Gloucester Crematorium allows 20 minutes in the chapel. In addition, they estimate five minutes to enter and get everyone seated, and five minutes for all to leave the chapel. If you expect lots of people, or you feel more time is needed, a ‘double’ slot may be booked, which will give 50 minutes in the chapel. Both Cheltenham and Westerleigh allow 35 minutes service time as part of a 45-minute slot.

Church services are usually no more than 35 -40 minutes – though in exceptional cases they can go for an hour. As above, Ministers are required to include the liturgy of their particular faith in addition to anything else you might want.

Hired funeral men in black? Or family members, grandchildren, colleagues, mates; women as well as men, of course. N.B. It is generally considered an honour to be asked to carry the coffin as a last act of service to the person who has died.

This decision as to who carries the coffin depends on the tone of the funeral – and the availability of willing and able-bodied family members and friends. If the latter, we would give a clear briefing beforehand to ensure that the ‘bearers’ are well prepared, and we would be on hand to help all the way.

See our Funeral Costs page for more detail on current Family Tree prices.

Otherwise, generally speaking, there are several factors that influence the cost of a funeral – particularly the choice of coffin, whether you have a newspaper announcement, requirements for flowers, limousines, etc.

We will always discuss costs with you, and provide an itemised estimate in advance of the funeral. We ask for the ‘disbursements’ – those costs we pay on your behalf, and about half of the final total – to be paid in advance. A final invoice is sent a few days after the funeral – for the balance to be settled within two weeks of the date of this final invoice.

You can pay by bank transfer, cheque, or cash by arrangement.

The bank will freeze a person’s account after their death. Any costs associated with the funeral can be paid from the person’’s current or savings account on submission of an invoice by the executor/next of kin. This can include expenses that your family have incurred such as travel, accommodation, additional flowers, catering etc. If you tell us what these are we will add them to the final invoice and reimburse you as soon as the bank have settled with us.

If you are having trouble paying for a funeral, it is very important to discuss this with us in advance: we will try and work out some payment plan with you.

In addition: you may be able to get a Funeral Expenses Payment from the Government:

You (or your partner) must be getting one or more of the following:

• Income Support
• Income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance
• Income-related Employment and Support Allowance
• Pension Credit
• Housing Benefit
• the disability or severe disability element of Working Tax Credit
• Child Tax Credit
• Universal Credit

You might also be eligible if you’re getting a Support for Mortgage Interest loan.

You can still claim a Funeral Expenses Payment if you’ve applied for these benefits and you’re waiting to hear about your claim.

To be eligible for a Funeral Expenses Payment, you must be

• the partner of the person who has died, when they died
• a close relative or close friend of the person who has died
• the parent of a baby stillborn after 24 weeks of pregnancy
• the parent or person responsible for a child who has died and who was under 16 (or under 20 and in approved education or training)

You might not get a Funeral Expenses Payment if another close relative of the person who has died (such as a sibling or parent) is in work.

A Funeral Expenses Payment can help to pay for some of the costs of the following:

• burial fees for a particular plot
• cremation fees, including the cost of the doctor’s certificate
• travel to arrange or go to the funeral
• the cost of moving the body within the UK, if it’s being moved more than 50 miles
• death certificates or other documents

You can also get up to £700 for any other funeral expenses, such as funeral director’s fees, flowers or the coffin.

The payment will not usually cover all of the costs of the funeral.

How much you get depends on your circumstances. This includes any other money that’s available to cover the costs, for example from an insurance policy or the person’s estate.

Check the claim form notes for full details of what is covered by the Funeral Expenses Payment.

If the deceased had a pre-paid funeral plan, you can only get up to £120 to help pay for items not covered by their plan.

More detail here can be found here: https://www.gov.uk/funeral-payments

A direct cremation is a funeral where the person who died is collected and cremated with no family or officiant present. It is sometimes known as an ‘Unattended funeral’. It is cheaper than a ‘traditional’ funeral.

Sometimes, families have a memorial gathering of some kind at a future date.

Funeral costs, like all costs, increase year on year.

If you have a life expectancy of more than two or three years, if you have the savings, and if you feel you can tackle the job (or ask someone else to), it makes sense to plan and pay for your funeral in advance.

You can of course put money aside in an investment or savings account but it may not keep pace with the rise in funeral costs. The good thing about a pre-paid plan is that the funeral director’s fee is locked in. So if you take out a plan and die, let’s say, 20 years later, that fee will remain the same. The growth in your ‘pot’ will keep pace with increases in third-party costs, such as the crematorium or church fee.

We are always happy to come and talk with you in advance of the need for a funeral, if you simply wish to have your funeral preferences discussed and written down.

A short time after the person dies, someone needs to deal with their ‘estate’ – their money, property, possessions, and other issues arising from the will. This involves collecting all the information and monies, paying any debts and distributing the estate to those entitled. The person dealing with this is the executor (there can be more than one appointed). Or a solicitor can be appointed to deal with the estate.

As an executor, you can obtain the required forms from your nearest Probate Office. You may have to attend an informal interview to confirm the details on the form and to discuss any queries.

If a person dies without a valid will in place (called dying ‘intestate’) the Government decides how their estate will be split using the ‘rules of intestacy’. Beneficiaries are ranked thus: spouse/civil partner, children, parents, siblings, other relatives.

Even if someone doesn’t have much in the way of assets, it’s still a good idea to have a will because your estate will still need to be sorted out and having a nominated executor makes that so much easier.

Have these documents in place and tell two people where to find them

• Will
• Lasting Powers of Attorney (LPAs) for Health & Welfare and for Property & Finance
• Advance Decision to Refuse Treatment (or ADRT, formerly known as a Living Will)
• Advance Statement (in support of your ADRT)
• DNACPR (Do Not Attempt Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation) – if appropriate
• Funeral Plan (general funeral preferences and/or a formal pre-paid funeral plan)
• List of digital assets (e.g. social media accounts, online photos, email accounts, other aspects of your ‘digital footprint’)
• List of passwords
• Other important information about how your house/life work